Sunday, February 3, 2013
These last couple weeks I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to bring this baby into the world. I've thought about Oona's birth a lot... things that were good, things that I wish could have been different. We had her at a birthing center, but there were parts that felt very much like the hospital birth I was avoiding. I think the fact that I've been questioning having our second daughter there again was already pointing me in a different direction. I realized my bad feelings about the way our birth was handled the last time around couldn't just be wiped away. There were midwives still working there that I felt uncomfortable with. There are six total midwives on staff at the birthing center, and you get whoever is on shift... not who you prefer, and the midwife can be switched mid-labor, as happened with my first birth. This has been a major draw back to me this pregnancy, as even though there are four awesome midwives working there, their are two who I do not feel at ease with, one of which who was there during my labor with Oona. So at this late stage, I decided I needed to be in a place where I felt safest, with a midwife I felt comfortable with, and where I wouldn't have to be separated from my oldest girl for excessive amounts of time. So we're going for it...we're going to have a home birth!
I'm feeling so much more positive about my coming labor now. There was a certain amount of dread before, and while I'm sure it will still hold surprises and pain, I feel much more prepared for it. I've also picked up a few new pregnancy books to get the positive vibes flowing. "Sacred Pregnancy" by Anni Daulter and "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. Both are inspiring in their own rights, and full of useful info. too. I thought I'd read all the pregnancy books I could possibly digest, but these two are great. "Sacred Pregnancy" focuses a lot on Mama and getting you centered throughout your pregnancy with weekly journaling exercises and lots of food for thought. Ina May's book has a lot of great info. about coping with pain in labor, among other useful information.
I've also picked up a prenatal yoga dvd to get myself moving. It's been so cold around here, and I haven't been doing much walking, but I need something to bring my energy levels back up. I'm so glad I listened to my intuition on this one, and didn't just step into another dark hole. Birthing a baby is one of the most incredible things to happen in a life time, and while I know it's not easy, I want to at least be able to be in a place that feels right and know that I'm going to get the support I need. Here's hoping for a more peaceful birth!